Dear St. Peter

We gathered in a small church by the sea to say a private goodbye to a friend. We love the intimacy of a small church by the sea, rather than a large one in or near a city.  Still, a funeral is a funeral no matter where we are, especially in a winter, when so much around us is quiet and still.


When we attend a wedding, our minds might wander afar about many things ; a funeral focuses us on two big issues: Mortality and Eternity, which tend to cloud our thoughts of friendship, love, and loss of the departed.

Mortality is an inarguable issue, except for those who are clinically warped, and they are not likely to receive a day's pass to attend a funeral. Five hundred or even two-hundred years ago Eternity was not  a big issue either, since nearly everyone from Borneo to Madrid believed in an afterlife. Granted, the Christian/Roman Catholic view of afterlife may have been very different from the pagan ones, but the end result was  faith in a spiritual eternity.

See how a mind wanders at funerals!  


Perhaps we have come to a time, when there are really only two kinds of humans: those who believe in an eternal spiritual life, and those who do not. A quick review of our current cultural trends says that we might have more of the latter than the former. How else do we explain the high level of disregard for moral/ethical standards in business, politics, media, academia, or, most sadly at times, organized religions themselves? 

Since my friend was a virtuous person, there was no doubt in anyone's mind that she was already in Heaven getting things organized and implementing new work schedules. 

L & Fs' bow ties

She was a woman who had the audacity to use a single excellent set of values for both business and her personal life. Imagine!  And they were sound ones: honest, compassionate, fair. She was once surrounded by CEO's and others who used one set of values in their personal lives and another to enrich and further themselves in business life. They never quite measured up to her with their pedigrees and degrees, although she never would have said that.

She was extremely self-confident without being arrogant. She was very prosperous without being an ounce pretentious. She was smarter than just about everyone around her, but (mostly) didn't tell you so. She worked harder than anyone else, longer than anyone else, and, most days, better than anyone else. She really did love her family first.Those photos in her office were not just camouflage.


If you worked for her, you had to get it right; you might get a three-page memo correcting your half-page one. But, her idea was nearly always better than yours. You could make a mistake or fail, but you did not want to ever not tell the truth, be afraid to say you were sorry, or compromise your own personal values (or hers). 

Once upon a time, we worked in a company which we liked, in jobs we liked, with people we liked or even loved. I am not making this up. This is before synergy, stock options, burst bubbles, and despicably greedy practices in high places by decidedly mediocre people, who could not have shined the very high-heeled shoes my friend wore so perfectly.

Did I mention that she was also attractive and stylish in ways that made much younger technocrat women in the company look frumpy much of the time, and that she enjoyed every minute of that? It's true.

prosecco

She taught me and others to aim very high in everything and to work hard enough to reach your aim. Once in a while, I even managed to meet her expectations. She demonstrated what love and compassion and devotion to family and work were all about by doing, not merely saying. She included my family in her family, but I still knew who was boss. And she did too. And that was fine with me. Still is.

Dear St. Peter, I know how you feel, but do not worry because you will also have a lot of fun despite being exhausted at the end of each day, except, of course, your days never end or begin. She will like that. Please make sure to stock plenty of dry white wine, especially prosecco. In eastern Long Island, NY there is a store called Loaves and Fishes. No, I'm not making this up either or being disrespectful to You Know Whom. Please arrange for them to make special deliveries. 

Finally, just relax. After all this time, Heaven will be as perfect as it was meant to be. I'm betting that she's already made it so. Join a heavenly gym, drink a lot of water, use Spell Check and just go with it. 


Respectfully and Sadly Yours,