If you've filled a prescription, read a magazine, or watched any TV lately, you will have noticed that many, if not all, prescription drugs offer the distinct possibility for you to graduate from a mildly annoying problem to something far, far worse.
We offer these three examples of medical, pharmaceutical, and legal lunacy:
1. ACTOS "has been shown to lower blood sugar without increasing your risk of having a heart attack or stroke" for adults with Type 2 diabetes. Now, that's certainly a comforting newspaper-ad headline. It continues in smaller print, "....while ACTOS was not shown to reduce the risk of heart attack or stroke, it also did not increase the risk of heart attack or stroke." Huh?
Here's the catch: "ACTOS can cause new or worsen heart failure" in certain people. Oh well, I guess that's okay. It can also cause low blood sugar, flulike symptoms, anemia, weight gain. It can increase your chance of becoming pregnant (presumably only for female patients).
One more clincher: "Some people, particularly women, are at higher risk of having bone fractures while taking ACTOS." Shall we call it "FRACTOS?"
Our advice: get a new physician, who will just put you on a diet.
2. Endo Story: An orthopedist prescribed Voltaren Gel for me last week as part of a program designed to heal my tennis elbow. Voltaren came with a four-page pamphlet composed in very fine print, which reads like an encyclopedia of bad things Voltaren might do to you.
Voltaren may cause an increased risk of serious cardiovascular thrombotic events....and stroke, which can be fatal." Use this to get rid of my tennis elbow? I don't think so!
"V" may also cause gastro- "bleeding, ulceration, perforation of the stomach...." Please, are we kidding? It's a wonder that my new orthopedist and my trusty old druggist haven't been carted off to prison for recommending this gel from hell. Why would anyone risk trading a tennis elbow for a "myocardial infarction" or just a plain vanilla infarction? Does insurance cover this stuff on the theory that it's cheaper to kill you now with infarction, rather than to risk allowing your tennis elbow to continue through years of therapy?
When I brought this gel-lopy home and showed it to my Darling Girl, she told me that she already had a tube of Voltaren left over from a bad knee. You may recall that DG actually did have a heart attack recently. Can someone recommend one of those lawyers with an 800 Number? Where's John Edwards, when you need him? Best not to ask.
The name of the company that makes Voltaren is....Endo. Not making it up.
3. "What is the most important information I should know about BOTOX?" Well, for one, "it can cause serious side effects that can be life threatening."
Surely getting rid of frown lines is worth having severe "Problems swallowing, speaking, or breathing," isn't it? No wonder those mad Real Housewives From Everywhere are having big problems!
They also risk: muscle weakness all over the body, double vision, loss of voice, loss of bladder control.
Cougars wearing thongs by Depends? Now, there's a concept.
Using BOTOX "could be unsafe for you to drive a car," which explains why so many people who use it seem to have chauffeured limousines.
Our advice: learn to love a good frown now and then.
And we were worried about Greece and Portugal. Take two aspirin; you can even read the label.
The Endo.
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