I Have Nothing To Say, Almost

Today, being Friday, I have nothing to say about the following topics:

1) HealthScare: If it was a holiday, it would be Halloween. Count Dracula operating, Ponzi's Ghost doing the billing, Tony Perkins's Ghost preparing your clean-up shower.

2) Local Taxes: The median property tax in my town, which some morons officially made into a city many years ago, is nearly equal to the median income in the United States, $48,000. The difference is that US median income is falling, while local taxes are rising. I define "city" as a group of people formerly known as a community, who become so focused on future expectations and past glories that they become totally stuck in the present moment, in which they have become incapable of making any decision. They have become Bill Murray in Groundhog Day.

3) CFO's: When they lay their heads on pillows at night, they dream of the vast number of employees who will soon become ex-employees. Their favorite number: Zero. Their favorite color: Black. Their favorite work of fiction: Last Year's Annual Report, until this year's version is printed. Their favorite charity: Senior Management Bonuses. Favorite Movie: Meet Joe Black.

4) Retirement: Something that's good to do for your auto every 25,000 miles, but bad for your soul.

5) 401K: A four letter word related to Retirement. When it was invented by the securities industry and hailed as Capitalism's visible hand by Republican supporters, actuaries estimated that retirees would have an average of $350,000 in their accounts. Actual average in 2005: $35,000 for the minority that had an account, 40% less by late 2008.

6) Afghanistan: Read Rory Stewarts's The Places In Between. He already said it all.

7) Fox Sports: Soon we will be carving the Thanksgiving Turkey early, in order to catch the first pitch of the World Series on Fox (after twelve football games) and hear Buck (the perfect Fox announcer name!) and McCarver (the perfect Thanksgiving Series name!) root for the National League team, unless it's the Mets.

8) NFL Commissioner and Lawyers: "Tackling, what tackling?

9) NYC's Next Emperor: Poor Mike, like another famous shortie, he's going to be stuck on his island, still with all the dough, but without an enormous amount of respect he once had. How do we ask Afghans and Iraquis to adopt democracy, when our brightest, richest, savviest citizens don't trust the  system to provide a successor who will be as bright, rich or savvy as they are? This guy went from hero to schmo in a New York Minute.

10) Fall: Every Fall, around Halloween in fact, I mix some dried ginkgo, sycamore, Japanese maple, and beech leaves in a coffee can. Then I strike a match,  light the leaves and close my eyes. The result, like a geni from a lamp is that the smoke grants me three wishes: 1) I am back in Forest Hills Gardens, walking home from my game and smelling the burning leaves from a dozen small piles in the streets, 2) I return to a magical time, in which reasonable human beings played World Series baseball games in the day time; afterwards, we celebrated one ritual with another: the burning of the leaves.3) I remember that after a rain soaked these fires, they smelled even better.

But, I'm not going to say a word about these things today; I am going to see Kandinsky and see what he had to say.