- New York State can't seem to catch a break. Now, its math students are not living up to low federal standards and are showing few signs of any improvement. Maybe those folks in the State Assembly and Senate could tutor them. These elected officials are really good at math, especially making positive numbers out of negative ones, and making some numbers, like salaries for uncles and "nieces," disappear completely. Bet kids in Bangalore can't do that.
- Federal math test scores also show that many children are still being left behind. The US lags far behind the rest of the world's math students. Naturally, Asian students shine in this category. Still, Asian students can't touch us when it comes to school team sports and hours spent watching television. Asian parents and educators just don't get it, do they?
- I refer you to page A6 in today's Times for a truly Hilary-larious photo. Our human satellite was making a speech in Moscow, where the Times shot her showing about forty feet of wall behind her, in order to get that red flag with the Hammer & Sickle on it. The Times will roll out this photo again, if Hill ever tries to challenge their man, O. Also, if the Republicans can arise and walk out of Frank Campbell's Funeral Home, they can use it against her as well. What did she ever do to the Cheeseburgers who run the Times?
- Max "Wild Thing" Baucus's Tax....er....Health Reform Bill has emerged from Committee to the Senate Floor, AKA Trough. Some refer to it unkindly as the Snowe Job. When both the Times and the WSJ agree that this Bill, as is, reforms nothing, makes ludicrously optimistic budget projections, and raises healthcare costs for just about anyone who already has it, except Federal employees, that's trouble. But, the good news is that Max has agreed to allow US educators to use his math in a new textbook in order to improve student's test scores. Rumors that Max may receive next year's Noble Prize in Creatively Applied Mathematics could not be confirmed before deadline.
- Apparently, Congress is getting ready to raise a lot of new revenue, even though they won't need it, because Max Baucus found a cool way to lower the deficit. Mrs. Pelosi is considering the benefits of a Value Added Tax. Now, people who don't travel on government GulfStreams on tax dollars can tell you that VAT is one big oxymoron: emphasis on the moron. It's a huge sales tax on consumers, with no requirement for governments to report how it is spent. Apparently, it may be spent to pay for Max Baucus's healthcare plan, which, of course, doesn't really cost anything. Math again! Funny thing, but, what the Demo-Leader may have missed was that she is now in favor of something heretofore anathema to her: a flat tax. How can you be for a 17% flat VAT and think a 17% flat Income Tax would be a sin against the poor and middle class?
- JP MorgueChasem and GoldieLax are reporting big profits and huge bonuses. Now, here are some guys who know how to do the math, always subtracting the biggest number for themselves before nasty clients, shareholders and customers start lining up. We might wonder: why didn't we buy these guys instead of Losers like AIG and GM? Being last in line with the Three For Us/One For You Boys is better than being first in line with the Losers.
- Citizens of Afghanistan and Iraq still don't get why they should have governments more like ours. Or, do they?
- Finally, an anonymous donor has endowed a SUNY Chair in Higher Mathematics to be known as the Rangel Chair.
Okay, back to the real world.
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