Life In Transition: A Primer

transition, n. 1. the process or instance of changing from one form, state, activity, or place to another.

Actually, it's a lot more complicated than that.

When my Editor suggested that I write about "Life In Transition," I went about it the way any self-respecting columnist would: I got on the train and went to the city, to the MOMA to be specific. This was killing two birds with one stone; I could avoid meeting the subject head-on, and I could rationalize my behavior by pretending that looking at art might provide great insight into the same subject.

This plan worked very well, until I came upon this painting by Adolph Gottlieb called Descending Arrow. It actually did make me think about LIT: one day you might feel buoyant, floating towards a more fulfilling or more prosperous life, the next it's all you can do just putting one foot in front of the other. You're transitioning.

It is tempting to view LIT as something that begins at a single point in time. A boss, a spouse, or a doctor tells you bad news and, suddenly, you have a severe case of vertigo. And, you will be tempted to look back at that moment, as a person might who has fallen down a well and wonders, Is This My Well? How Did I Get Here? This is natural, but don't waste too much time on it: better to ask for some help than try climbing those slippery sides alone.

We tend to think of Transition as a noun, a thing or an event. Not so. The truth is that you had been transitioning for a while and you just didn't know it. Your husband, your boss, your body, or the universe may have known it was happening. You were the last to know, but you will need to get over it and move on.

On the upside of transition, and yes, Virginia, there is one, trust me, you may think of it coming to a close. Instead, you’ve just move on to a different, better stage.  It's just life, that thing John Lennon said was there all along, while we were busy “making other plans;“ except that the something else felt much more comfortable than a job search, career change, healthy recovery. But, how else are you going to live out your real dreams?

If you are looking to rebuild or find a new career,,  you will receive a lot of advice, much of it from experts in the field. In fact, at times you will think that there is a Career Search/Life Coach for every person searching. Where did they all come from? Many came from same place you did; they are former corporate HR people, who now make a living as career counselors, life coaches, branding/marketing specialists. A whole LIT industry has grown out of these whacky times, and you will mostly be grateful for it.

When I began my own search, the consulting firm I chose had me compose a 40-Year Vision. I was 58 at the time, so I had to imagine what I really wanted my life to be like at 98! No matter what cool idea I came up with, I always imagined I'd look like a cross between Yoda and Jobba The Hut! 

In the beginning,  this was beside the point, because my consultant only spent about five minutes on the Vision. Then, like Paton with his Commanders planning an attack on a Panzer Division, she mapped out a maximized plan for me to land a job just like the one I’d had. This involved branding myself as a kind of Energizer Bunny, who would stalk hundreds of contacts until they bought me. Overnight, I had to go from Visionary to Crazy Eddie.

It didn't quite work in the way we planned.

I had gotten a glimpse of me as a round peg, and I was trying to fit myself back into a square hole. Then, there was the age thing, which the consultant said I had to ignore, but apparently corporate recruiters and HR folks do not get the same advice. Finally, three things happened: Bear, Lehman, MortgageGate. Finito, except that that the experience was a liberating one in many respects.

Right now, millions of people are gathering all over the country in church halls, school meeting rooms, Y's, and Starbuck's to help each other keep their transitions alive and their spirits up. They learn to network, Link, Friend, make web sites, write resumes and cover letters. Seasoned vets are teaching newcomers and it helps both of them. Young people, some just out of college, work with those of retirement age who can't or won't retire. Their searches loop backwards and forwards, up and down.

When you are transitioning, If you haven't had much of a spiritual life recently, you will improve the quality of your search by having one. Prayer, meditation, yoga, or just taking a walk around the block will help immensely. Many transitioners begin referring to their Higher Power; job seekers may refer to their Hire Power.

Those looking for a new job, as part of their transition, will agree on one thing: the process for hiring at most companies is not friendly; it seems primarily designed to eliminate you as a candidate. It can be a humbling experience, requiring you to implement guerilla tactics to get through the maze.

Companies are so overwhelmed with applicants that they cannot treat them all with respect. They actually damage their own brands in some cases by the way they treat applicants, who just might be customers too.

But, we have to lay all of that aside, because it all comes back to personal, individual responsibility. You cannot let anything deter you, although you may detour here and there for good reasons. You never give up, but you learn to give in, allowing the world to help shape you as you steadily make your case to the world for who you are and what you have to offer.

Eventually, my consultant became frustrated with my initial job search, and that was before the financial mess. "You're becoming too fond of the process, she opined, "I'm afraid you're beginning to like it."

As if!  But, she had a point, even if she did not realize it the same way that I did. If she had remembered her own firms's Vision method, she might have known that is was precisely that topsy-turvy process that might appeal to someone whose job might become writing about it some day.

Like today.