The News: Off The Record

Sports

• There are twelve American women in the 2010 US Open. There are sixteen Russian women in the tourney. Three of the Americans rank in the Top 100, while every Russian player but one (103) ranks in the Top 100.
• Fifteen American men are playing in the Open, five are in the Top 100. France....France has fourteen players in the Open, nine of whom are in the Top 100. France, Spain, and Germany have a combined 38 players.
• All but two of the nine Argentine men in the Open are in the Top 100 and one of them is 101.

It's a good thing that the Open is not played in Arizona; half the players would be detained. What's so US about the US Open?

Whether

Breaking News: The earth is not flat and no more hand-wringing about whether or not global warming is a hoax. As one pol famously said, "All warming is local." Efforts from the political right to take Al Gore and his Global Warming scheme to the Supreme Court have faded in the hottest, most uncomfortable summer in history.

First, it was suburban coyotes. Now, it's flamingoes enjoying their new habitat in the local millpond next to their friends, the wild turkeys, who prefer the deep cover of the marshlands. Can manatees be close behind?

Maybe it's time to trade in those Durangos and Escalades, the size of small houses, that locals drive across town to yoga class to firm the thighs and soothe the souls?

Coyote Watch

Speaking of these critters, they have been scarce this summer.

One possible explanation: a friend swears that she saw a Suburban full of coyotes headed North on 95, and later saw them on the Nantucket ferry. 

Well, it's August on the Gold Coast, did you think they'd be visiting relatives Yellowstone?

Politics (Sorry)

No comment as yet from Albany or White Plains NY on reports of a secret master plan to convert the famous Rye Playland ferris wheel and roller coaster into a super-efficient wind turbine and atom smasher respectively.

Costs of the project would be covered by revenue from an undecided number of video slot machines owned and operated by the C. Rangel Corporation. The new plan may also allow operators to bring "fireworks" to a whole new level.

Movies

There are no movies: none, zero, zilch.

We would have to count Dinner For Schmucks, which makes Jersey Shore look like it was directed by Ingmar Bergman.

We met better schmucks at the Knish Knosh on Queens Boulevard in Forest Hills every day of the week.

Way back when....