Thoughts On Job Search 3.0

Since we have now stated that a great economic expansion is upon us, we turn our heads to that great conundrum attached to any expansion: the Job Search. Our job, as usual, is not to point out the obvious; that you can find on the bookshelf and through the Job Search Establishment. Herewith some thoughts and observations:

• You may be tempted to portray yourself as an "interesting person." Don't. Creating resume-like web sites, sending clever post cards and generally attempting to "stand out" from the pack backfires almost every time. Corporations do not want interesting people; they want people like them: ordinary, results-oriented, focused on growth, etc.
• Why? The whole point of a corporation is to hold the status quo, especially in difficult times, when zero revenue growth means superlative performance. The CFO can always invent some growth, if needed. When corporations say they can "think outside the box," it is a euphemism for "total disaster." They can think outside the box, but they never will.
• Why? Bad things happen, when ordinary people in corporations think outside the box. That's how we got into the whole Sub-Prime mess.
• Do not wonder why you never get a response from anyone regarding your job application. This is perfectly understandable behavior. A hiring exec has time to see 5-6 "final candidates." HR is scared of that exec, so they need to get into an "elimination mode" quickly in order to reduce 200 applicants by 98%. This leaves no time for niceties. They are the hiring exec to you and you are no threat to them.
• The best way to get through the process is to look very much like you would fit into the organization, but have slightly more energy, enthusiasm and a "can-do" attitude than the other candidates. HR will discard all of the "interesting" people and approaches first, then the over-achievers. The HR screener knows that the job description reads like the fine print in a drug ad, so they look to you to define the real job. They are looking for you to make them look good. You are the Energizer Bunny, who has done her homework, but ordinary enough not to make the hiring exec uncomfortable.
• That last point cannot be made strongly enough: nobody hires a great potential replacement. This is why we scratch our heads over Vice-Presidential candidate choices. People hire you to make them look even more appealing. Duh.
• The mindset you need to have, if you make it through to a meeting (the Search Establishment never calls this an interview), is that you are one of them, you belong. No matter that you have been locked out for 6 mos. or 2 years. You must act like you belong. The mere hint that you accept your "outside-ness" will eliminate you. Act as though you work down the hall in an identical office to the one in which you are meeting. Dress like the hiring exec, speak like her/him, make them feel comfortable and certain that you will help them keep their jobs, so they will never, ever get to be like you, the outsider.
• Start with the shoes, when dressing for the meeting. Really good, comfortable shoes. Imagine someone wearing them and trying to sell you something you do not want, but you buy it anyway. Dress up around the shoes. The shoes will not get you the job, they will give you confidence, energy, balance. Those things will get you the job. Maybe.

More soon. Meanwhile, you must listen to the Sonny Clark Trio's Rudy Van Gelder Edition from 2001. Just don't tell the hiring exec you listened to this, otherwise you won't get the job. It's way, way to cool. Jazz scares them.